That is some mustache you got there!

1. You like that? I grew it myself!

2. ...and that's just the part that shows above the surface!

3. Actually, it's made of marzipan.

4. Yours too, Ma'am!

5. You should have seen the one that got away!

6. Mom says it tickled on the way out.

7. British navy surplus!

8. That's not a mustache. It's the alien parasite that controls me.

9. Just ignore it and it will probably go away.

10. Yeah, I lost a bet.

11. Quiet! I'm in disguise.

12. It's actually the antenna for my satellite phone.

13. I won it in a card game.

Suggestions?

This page is dedicated to Al Jaffee, king of the wisenheimers. By the way, Plants vs. Zombies is the best game ever!