interior lid

Sexy Yellow Box
(Collection of Jeffrey Sommer)

Interior lid of Sexy Blue Box

Sexy Blue Box #2


back Label

Virginís Blood of Uqbar
This product first reached European shores with the expeditions
of Marco Polo in the late thirteenth century.
The ladies of Venice were immediately taken with it and the
demand was high. There were bold claims as to its properties.
It was said that a small amount mixed with olive oil would
remove blemishes and impart a rosy glow to the skin,
a drop added to wine would lead to inner purification even implying that
sins might be expunged.

This claim caused some concern to the archbishop Lorenzo Di Parma
who nonetheless made sure he had a personal supply.
It was also said that the substance could serve as a fixative in
alchemical formulations allowing preparations of remarkable purity
to be obtained.
A drop in each eye was sworn by some to
grant apocalyptic visions. Some even avowed that it was the sovereign
elixir of youth itself.
It was agreed by all that this was the most powerful
of unguents, restoratives
and panaceas.

By the time a second shipment arrived the price of a small
bottle had outstripped gold by weight,
indeed the going rate was three times its weight in gold
inclusive of the bottle itself and Venetians
as well as foreigners who had become aware
of it were happy to obtain it at any price.
Several persons made a good business reselling it by the drop
or dram to those who could never afford
a full bottle.

The source of the product was distant Uqbar located in
a nigh impassible mountain region of Asia.
The Uqbari people were farmers,
herders and tradesmen, but were
also well known for their philosophers, alchemists and mystics.
Indeed, they had in those times made excellent trade
in various formulations, decoctions and extracts
produced by their many medical and chemical savants.

Virginís Blood was exactly that.
It was determined to be human blood
that had been treated or magicked in some fashion
to prevent it from clotting and had herbal
additives in small amounts.
It was obtained in a non-harmful manner
from maidens who had experienced their first blood,
but still resided beneath their fatherís roof,
were innocent of the company of men
and were otherwise pure in every way.
One of the local physicians would pay the
father of such a girl either two goats or sixteen bushels
of barley or 4 silver ďqofsĒ to draw one
hundred and twenty-eight drams of blood,
enough to make six small bottles
of the preparation.
The blood had to be drawn in such a manner
that it caused no pain whatsoever to the maiden
and each girl could only be bled a single time by Uqbari law,
thus no father, unless he had
a great many daughters, would
ever gain substantial wealth through this avenue.

Until the earliest years of the twentieth century
this product reached western markets
in decreasing amounts as fewer of the
Uqbari people chose to live their peopleís
traditional lifestyle.
In the early nineteen twenties, the land
that was once Uqbar became part of the Soviet Union
and her people became workers under the
new regime dispersed into the great mass
of the country. The language,
history and customs of this tiny nation
all disappeared within a few short years.
There are very few people alive
in the twenty-first century for whom both
parents are Uqbari or know anything
of ŎlŻqb„r, their national language.

Bottles of Virginís Blood do turn up from time to time.
Empty flasks with a tiny bit of residue are
the most common and those are still considered quite
desirable to collectors.
Much more rarely a bottle that has part of the
contents remaining, usually long crystalized,
is discovered. Thus it was considered an
important occasion that a sealed full flask
turned up at auction in twenty thirteen
and sold for a price that would be considered
unconscionable to anyone with an ounce of sanity.
That is the bottle you see before you.

We cannot in good conscience endorse any
of the rumored effects associated with
this substance and in fact must inform that consuming
it in any way will have unknown consequences.

Just donít.



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